Jacob’s Escalator

Dumblaws.com is beautiful for a laugh and for ‘comedic inspiration’ because you can’t help but wonder not only why on earth these laws came to be, but what kind of wacky event transpired that caused the law to even be considered. Here I wish to share twenty-five random laws, and a few that I remember from previous visits. Thanks to Mom for the post idea. Note that many of these are state laws and the “Random Laws” link, unfortunately, won’t tell you where they’re from - but it’s all good.

“You can’t shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile.”
…You can shoot whales from a moving automobile? Are you sure about that one?

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Ahead was a… thing. It wasn’t going up with the Escalator; it was simply sitting… on a perch of cloud near the rail… I looked, curious and a little anxious. My heart rose to see what it was.

It was my notebook.

I snatched it from its forsaken perch and dove through the pages. Not a one was lost; each was pristine and untouched. I breathed a heavy sigh of relief and fumbled through my backpack for a pen.

Dear Notebook, and Readers:

I am sorry! My notebook was taken from me in the midst of writing! It was horrid, and terrible; many were substituted but none could truly replace this. But, now, the Notebook has returned to my possession (as some of you may know, it has been with me for quite some time). Creative spark will strike again, surely, and the Escalator will resume its full function.

Again I apologize. Sometimes the vicious winds along the Escalator’s path will rip things away, and sometimes they will return things - or present you with new ones. It’s beyond my control to say.

- Samwise

Sorry it’s taken me so long. We’re up to Exercise IV, I just haven’t posted this one yet.

Anyway, here it is… the theme was character. Parts I and II consisted of making a character, first by a short paragraph and answering several questions from a list, then by actually describing them in a scene that portrayed their job.

Part III… was writing a kiss scene in three different viewpoints - first person, third person omniscient (with everyone’s mind open to the reader) and third person objective (as an observer). Read More »

Cherry Trees

Pink pedals sprinkle the grass.
Pink pedals shower the lawn.
Pink pedals rain o’er the yard.
Pink pedals grace their old home.
Pink pedals cascade in the wind.
Pink pedals blanket the landscape.
With time comes only greatness.

Okay. Exercise two.

Part one: Join a scene and an emotion in a paragraph or poem, using images to describe it in great detail. The scenes and emotions you can pick are listed. I picked high noon on the river, and… sinister. I’m not sure if I did well, the teacher wasn’t sure if I had picked dangerous or sinister. >__>

Part two: write a bad poem. Like, bad poetry, the worst that you can imagine. Then explain what’s so terrible about it.

Part three: Take a paragraph that was given to us, and space it out to turn it into a poem. In a poem, timing is everything, so the spaces were important. Then write a paragraph explaining your reasoning on the spaces. Then at the end of that paragraph, define the difference between prose and poetry.

I got 100% on this assignment~. Read More »

While I do not (or try not to) assume that whoever I might be talking to understands the faces I make in internet conversation, I do tend to make these faces anyway, out of reflex, to express emotion. It has been brought to my attention that frankly, you have no idea what they mean. So, I hope to clear this up, on the off chance I use them in my posts. That, and because evidently, my writing amuses you, and you haven’t had any of my words for a while, so why not? Read More »

http://www.fairgamed.org/fairgame.htm

ENEMY :

SP Order. Fair game. May be deprived of property or injured by any means by any Scientologist without any discipline of the Scientologist. May be tricked, sued or lied to or destroyed.

Absolute0SK (3:09:45 PM): How come they’re allowed to exist? > >
Absolute0SK (3:09:48 PM): I don’t think that’s legal.
Mavrick882 (3:10:22 PM): Anon’s get followed home, killed, raped, whatever the f*** they feel like doing to us. And Scientology protects them within the law, so if you don’t have a mask…Do one brave thing, then run like hell.
Mavrick882 (3:10:54 PM): Scientology hides behind being a “religion”.
Absolute0SK (3:11:05 PM): Religions are not allowed to kill people.
Absolute0SK (3:11:07 PM): That’s legal no matter what.
Absolute0SK (3:11:09 PM): *illegal
Mavrick882 (3:11:24 PM): Scientology has some of the best damned lawyers.

Anonymous is a strange entity.

They have their own sort of religion, in a way. Anonymous is everyone; everyone is Anonymous. They’re a group of people on the internet who are… bored. They hide out on the internet where anonymity is easy to preserve and discuss many things. What separates them from other ‘groups’ of the internet is that they act.

If you are bored enough, search Youtube for a video on Fox News’ report on Anonymous. Be aware before you search that Fox News is - pardon my italian - retarded. They don’t know anything about the actual Internet or the actual Anonymous. (I don’t know or care if they can be trusted but I heard a comment on Youtube somewhere that stated that the Fox News anonymous they did a report on wasn’t at all related to the actual Anonymous.) Read More »

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As a younger schoolgoer, I hated English class. First it was my natural expertise at spelling and grammar that bored me; then it was the constraining styles of writing that frustrated me (Five-paragraph essays are WORTHLESS). However, as a younger student, I also enjoyed the reading portion of the class. I liked the novels they gave me to read. I enjoy childish, fairy-tale type stories, the stories with conflict and fighting and difficulties, but a somehow happy ending (or sometimes not very happy, but somehow satisfying). They also stick to themselves. They don’t try to reach out and mess with me, or point to things outside of itself.

As I’ve gotten closer to college level classes, however, things have changed. The average writer’s skill gets closer to my own, so more freedom is allowed, and I can use my skills as much as I please. Writing is a pleasure, even those boring essays. The situation has… inverted.

So has the reading situation.

College-level literature isn’t hard. It is not particularly difficult for me to understand. It’s merely intolerable. I hate it.

I like to read a story that’s only a story. I like to read a novel that’s all about plot and characters, and whose plot advances by a character’s actions, not by what happens to them. (If you can’t imagine a story that advances by events, think of tragedies - all the characters seem to just be watching each other die.) I like a story that’s told for the sake of the story, like the Dark Tower, like Night’s Dawn, like Orson Scott Card’s books and Stephen King’s books and Robert Heinlien’s (spelling…?) books, not these collages of symbols and themes. Read More »

“The Celebration of the Initiation of the Activation of the Emancipation Proclamation” - Eric Claybrook

I didn’t have the heart to explain that the Emancipation Proclamation came several decades prior to MLKjr’s civil rights movement.